relationship status: slept with laundry I was too lazy to fold
doctor, I can’t stop singing what’s new pussycat
sounds like you have tom jones disease
is it rare?
it’s not unusual
sorry boys, but I already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested
my worst fear is looking bad in a photo with a celebrity
"Being funny is one of my greatest strengths."
Use this to combat pro-life “statistics” (aka, statistics pulled out of a random donkey’s hiney).
Chris Evans discussing “love at first sight” on set of A Many Splintered Thing
Chris Pratt seems like a guy that would get drunk with you and then carry you home